I don’t like being generic. So, its awkward that in a lockdown, when all most people are doing is waiting, the main thing I’ve heard from God is to wait.

In summer 2019 I received a prophetic word from a couple of different people, that all essentially told me I was where God wanted me and that I was to wait for my time. Which, on one level, is great because I don’t have to worry about what to do next. But as months go by without any indication of how long I am to wait, it becomes clear that ‘my turn’ may not be soon.

Which is fine. I’m fine with that. But it doesn’t give me much to go on.

This leads me to consider where I am. The first half of my instruction is that I am where he wants me so, no matter how many times it’s been iterated before in Christian circles, I have to actually ask ‘where’ I am and who and what my life, as it is now, affects? Because I’ll still be here when I’m called on next.

I am in Ireland, in university, in architecture, so I’m in touch with my classmates. I’m a part of UJ and a part of the young adults’ group in trinity church, so I have some impact there. During covid I have gotten to know more of my neighbourhood.

So no insight there: I just have to wait.

Some amount of time goes by (that I’ve completely lost track of), and I’ve talked about waiting with all the groups I usually talk to. Some more than once. After the summer my time is once again taken up with university work so I don’t think about waiting. For a bit, and then I return to it.

A little over halfway through the semester and enough work is piled up to fill every hour of every day and I’ve started dreaming about the time after lockdown. This is new because, while I was waiting, during the first lockdown I was never thinking about its end. I had just focussed on work and enjoying the introverted peace. I also had responsibility to distract me. I was class representative going into covid, so I suddenly had to interface regularly with our college staff and figure out how work was to continue.

But this time I didn’t have that. I was just waiting.

I say “didn’t” because the same week the monotony really hit, with 60+ hours of college work in five days, I spoke to some of my class who were really struggling. That was something fresh to deal with, and with that issue mostly resolved…

I’m back to waiting.

One key part of working alone for hours is that I get a lot of thinking in. It is clear that, for me, part of waiting where I am is in helping. Whether it’s a classmate, friend or neighbour. While I am here, I am to help those around me.

And to think, and to watch from afar.

We watched the pandemic sweep the world. We watched the black lives matter movement rise in the US and we stood in solidarity with them here. We watched so many developing countries struggle and we have watched the atrocities of both the Chinese and American governments.

We are still watching all of these things, largely from afar.

My place in this is largely to watch all of this and think. To consider my position and responses, so that when my waiting is over I will still be ready for my turn.

Theme photo by Michał Parzuchowski on Unsplash